Did you know that the character of Cupid can be traced to Classical Mythology? The chubby little guy with the magic arrows can be traced back to a god that the Greeks called “Eros” (the source of English words like “erotic”) and the Romans called “Cupid.” Before you think “adorable!” (an English word also sourced from Latin), you should know that Cupid has undergone some stylistic changes in the last few millennia. The ancient god was the god, not of romance, but of all-consuming-lose-your-mind-lust, the kind where one person involved almost always ends up dead. This made sense, since Cupid was the illegitimate child of Venus (the Greeks called her “Aphrodite,” the source of English’s “aphrodisiac”), the Latin goddess of sexual desire, and her consort Mars (the source of English’s “martial;” the Greeks called him Ares, the source of many pop culture references), god of war, violence, and slaughter. And if you need one more reason to be disgusted, you should know that Mars was Venus’ brother-in-law. Ew. Also Romans loved to decorate with little cupids doing big people things, like dying in chariot races (see below) and throwing up drunk (see below below). Because the Classical World is a horror show that just keeps on giving…

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